


destined to love you

by yousetmyheartonfire



Category: Dead Poets Society
Genre: Confessions, First Kiss, Fix-It, Getting Together, M/M, Mostly Fluff, Neil lives, Post-Canon, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-15 19:52:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19302685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yousetmyheartonfire/pseuds/yousetmyheartonfire
Summary: Todd has no idea what he wants to do with his life, but Neil might know.





	destined to love you

Todd looked out at the gentle rain and figured that poetry ran in his veins. Everything seemed so peaceful at night, even the light chirping of crickets. The streetlights were on, providing illumination throughout the night, though the trees blocked much of that view. He sat on the railing around his porch, an arm sling around the wooden beam. He puffed on a cigarette, thinking it would look picturesque if someone were to see, but no one was awake at this hour. His own parents were sound asleep downstairs and he was truly alone. Even the neighbors, though far away, had long retired to bed. He supposed he was probably the youngest person in his entire neighborhood. God, it got lonely. He let the cigarette hang from his mouth as he picked at the peeling white paint above him. The roof probably looked perfect from a distance, but when you get close you can see the imperfections from years of neglect. Ironically, it was the perfect metaphor for his life.   
Tucked away in his little corner of the porch, with his feet hanging off the edge, it must’ve looked so dangerous. His lazy arm around the beam was probably the only thing keeping him from falling. If he reached up, he could touch the roof, but he never climbed onto it.   
It was the beginning of summer, though it didn’t quite feel like it yet. He still had a sweater thrown haphazardly on to keep from getting cold. The rain would occasionally spray onto his face, but he didn’t mind. He was done with school now and he was terrified. His parents hadn’t told him what to do next. Maybe he should be grateful that they expect nothing, but he was clueless about where to go. He thought he found his place at Welton, but just like that it was gone. He listened to the wind rustling the leaves on trees and took a long drag of nicotine. His parents would expect him to leave, at the very least, just like his brother had. He was really and truly all alone.   
At least, that’s what he thought. He heard faint footsteps, but brushed it off as the rain. They persisted, and he swore they were getting louder. Just as he was going to look over, they stopped. Maybe he was going crazy.   
“Got a death wish?” A familiar voice questioned.   
He turned his head and swore he was dreaming. He blinked, but the image remained the same. He was looking down at his former Welton roommate, Neil Perry.   
“Is that really you?” He blurted out.   
Neil just smiled up at him, his hair slightly wet from the rain. “In the flesh. How’ve you been?”   
Todd didn’t acknowledge the question. “I haven’t seen you since...”   
“I know,” Neil said, looking down at his shoes. “It’s been a while.”   
Todd crushed his cigarette on the railing. “You’re soaked, come up here. There’s a ladder on the side of the house.”  
He watched the rain begin to fall harder as Neil climbed on to the porch. He was standing next to Todd, his hands on the railing, looking out at the view.   
“How’ve you been?” He asked again. This time, Todd looked over.   
“Not great,” he admitted.   
Neil met his gaze. “Morose?” He asked. Todd grinned at the subtle joke as if they were really old friends. “And you? I mean, it’s been what? Six months?” It had, he had been counting.   
Neil looked apprehensive. “Just about, I think. I’m not doing much better than you are.”  
“What happened?” Todd finally asked.   
Neil sighed. “My father pulled me out of Welton after the play. I refused to get shipped off to military school, so I spent the rest of the year being homeschooled.”   
Todd pushed his hair back, then rested his hand on the railing. He hasn’t realized how close their hands were until he looked down. “So now what?”  
“Well,” he cleared his throat. “It was either go to med school or bust.” He hesitated, looking out at the streetlight.   
Todd struggled to find a response. “Becoming a doctor?” His voice came out higher than he would’ve liked.   
“No.” Neil turned to look at him.   
“No?” Todd’s eyebrows raised.   
“I chose to bust.”   
Todd looked at him meaningfully. He was proud of his friend for finally sticking up for himself, but felt there was more to the story.   
Neil’s hand was mere millimeters away, to the point where if Todd’s pinkie moved it would make contact. “I just, I couldn’t stop thinking about what Keating said. Seize the day and all. I didn’t want to be stuck doing something I hate, then wake up one day and realize I’m not living.” He looked pained, though not so conflicted.   
Todd managed a small smile. “Poetic,” he commented.   
Neil’s expression melted. Everything really was softer at night. The rain, however, was pouring down. You could see the storm being lit by the streetlights.   
“That’s why I’m out here, actually. I’m leaving.”   
Todd’s head spun around to see if he was serious. “You’re running away?”   
Neil shrugged. “Not really, I mean I am legally an adult now.”   
“Where are you going?”   
“I don’t really know yet. I was going to buy a bus ticket and see where that takes me.”   
Todd shifted uncomfortably and it happened. His hand had hardly moved, but now he could feel the awkward press of Neil’s hand. The rain seemed so loud and tumultuous. Neil looked down at the sudden contact. Neither moved, as it would be more awkward if they did.   
“Well, I’m glad I got to see you before you left...” Todd said, not knowing what to do.   
Neil moved to stand in front of him. His hands gripped the railing on both sides, almost trapping him. Now both of their hands were far too close. Their overall proximity was too close. If the neighbors saw them, they would jump to conclusions.   
“I’m not.”  
Todd stared right at him, since it was too odd to look away. “W-what?”   
“When I decided to go off, I finally felt free, but as I was walking... I started thinking about all the things I’d never do,” Neil explained slowly. It was almost as if his words had been rehearsed. Todd could’ve sworn he was following some sort of script. It was too bad Todd didn’t know the next line. He must’ve missed his cue, because Neil carried on.   
“A-and, I made a detour, just to see if you were home,” Neil continued less confidently. Todd didn’t hide his surprises expression. “I didn’t think you would be awake, but you were, and seeing you... well, it made me not want to leave.”   
Todd leaned in closer to hear him better, as the rain was getting increasingly louder. Neil’s mouth parted slightly at the movement, and Todd was clueless.   
“What do you mean?” Todd asked over the storm outside.   
“It means I-“ he paused. He had gone over this a million times in his head, imagining all the possibilities. In most scenarios, he never got this far.   
A quick flash of lighting startled Todd and he nearly fell off the porch. Neil’s arm reached around his waist to keep him from falling back. Now they were barely a hair apart, Todd still sitting on the railing and Neil holding him in place. He felt heat rise to his face as his heart drummed in his ears. They heard the thunder rumble and Neil took it as a sign. Carpe Diem.   
“I love you.” The words tumbled out of his mouth like a spilled drink. The confession hung like thick fog over them, his arm still wrapped around the other. He carefully removed it and placed his hand back. He half expected to be shoved back or hit, but Todd wasn’t moving an inch. His mind hasn’t quite caught up yet. They were at a stand-still, but Neil had played all his cards. He was leaving the rest up to Todd.   
Maybe if life was more dramatic, there would be a big swell of music, a kiss, and then the credits. Reality was far more awkward. Todd placed his hands atop of Neil’s.   
“Really?” He asked slowly.   
Neil’s eyes were starry and innocent. He looked far too vulnerable. “Y-yeah,” his voice cracked.   
“Are you still leaving then?” It was so like him to keep asking questions, to keep overthinking and worrying. Neil loved him for it.   
“I don’t know. I think I would do whatever you asked.”   
Todd smiled and ran a hand through Neil’s hair. Neil still looked slightly helpless, as though Todd held his heart in one shaky hand. He supposed he actually might.   
“Kiss me then?”   
It was Neil’s turn to look shocked. It took him less time to get with the program as he slowly leaned forward. Their noses touched, and he hesitated. It was unclear who initiated it, but once they were kissing Todd almost fell again. Fortunately, Neil was there to wrap his arms around him and keep him grounded.   
It had only been a press of lips, but it made everything else fade into the background. Even the rain seemed to quiet down.   
Todd put his hands on Neil’s face and pulled away suddenly. His breathing was heavy. “Let’s run away together.”   
It was unlike him to suggest such a crazy scheme. Neil felt tears prick at the corner of his eyes. “Oh, I’ve always wanted to run away with you.”   
They kissed again, more deeply this time. It was a promise, and one they wouldn’t break. Neil couldn’t stop smiling, breaking up the kiss. Todd went to complain, but found he was smiling as well.   
“I was sitting out here with no idea what to do with my life,” Todd said, “and then you came along.”   
Neil buried his face in his shoulder in a sort of embrace. “Save it for your wedding vows,” he teased.   
Todd felt his heart flutter. “Would you?” He asked without thinking.   
Neil looked up at him. “Marry you? In a heartbeat! If it was possible...”   
Todd smiled, feeling melancholy. “I love you too,” he finally said.   
Neil kissed his cheek. “We’re going to run away together,” he gushed, “We could live together.”   
Todd leaned into him, smiling. “We haven’t even known each other for a year.” He bit his lip, anxiety creeping in. “What if it doesn’t work out?”   
“No, it feels like I’ve known you forever,” Neil protested between kisses. “This is going to work.”   
“Where should we go?”   
“Anywhere! I don’t care, as long as you’re there.” Neil smiled brighter than the light from the street.   
“And you say I’m the poet,” Todd teased.   
“I’m on top of the world! This is what I want for the rest of my life!” Neil’s words sounded vaguely familiar. “Doesn’t it feel like fate?”   
Todd stroked his cheekbones with his thumbs and pressed their foreheads together. “I was worried I would never get to tell you how great you were in the play.”  
Neil cleared his throat, pretending he wasn’t getting choked up. “God, I love you.”  
“Remember me when you’re famous?” Todd asked.   
“How could I forget? Just promise me that you’ll keep writing poetry.”   
“Promise you’ll stay?” Todd’s voice was thick with emotion.   
“I do. Always.” Neil pressed a quick kiss to his lips.   
“Me too,” Todd vowed.   
They were scared and excited but most of all they couldn’t wait to spend the rest of their lives with each other.

**Author's Note:**

> *casually writes this at 3am while it rains*


End file.
